The Gift of Adoption

“I can fulfill any desire because my mom chose life.”

24 July 2021

Nikki Tankus

2003

In 2002, I could have been found dismembered, thrown away—unknown and forgotten. I could have been passed off as a heavy period or a miscarriage. But neither of those things happened. Instead, I am blessed and loved by my friends and adopted family. I can fulfill any desire because my mother chose life.

I was adopted from ZhuZhou in the province of Hunan, China. I personally do not recall anything from my orphanage or the period where I was first bonding with my adopted family. I was about 18 months old at the time. My story is pretty much a mystery as I was left with nothing from my biological mom/family. There was no little note saying goodbye, no baby toy that I might have played with, no one to see who left me behind. I believe I was left at a police station or at some corner where the police found and rescued me.

God blessed me in more ways than one. Not only did He save me from an abortion—as many others would undergo due to China’s one-child/two-child policies—but He also provided me with a wonderful orphanage to provide for my needs. There are so many memoirs and books about how adopted children grow up with attachment struggles due to the harshness or unloving environments which is how my sister grew up. Rather, I had a place that loved and wanted to take care of me. I remember my adopted mom feeling jealous that my caretaker had such a special bond with me.

I was proud (and still am) of being adopted. It made me feel special—I had an aura of mystery around me. I never really thought too much about my biological family. I was never upset that I was adopted as I had read about some children who were. It was simply a part of me. But recently, I have begun to reflect on my adoption more. Sometimes, when I tell people, they feel sorry for me telling me how they find it awful that moms could just abandon their kids. That made me really stop and think. Sure, I sometimes felt sad as I theorized why my mom could have left me. Maybe she had me out of wedlock and simply did not want me. Maybe she wanted me, but the government or family did not. Maybe she lost me by accident. But I rarely dwelt on those thoughts.

Adoption should not be considered or equivalent to abandonment. Instead, adoption should be considered a gift-giving or a blessing from God. All mothers care for their children in some way or another. Even if they did not, adoption simply shows that God rescued that child and mother from the pains of abortion. I never thought of my adoption having a purpose. Now, however, I have been growing in the Pro-Life movement. I realized that my story could help persuade women to choose life and offer their children up for adoption. I know that I and others (who have been adopted) are a beacon to those considering putting their child up for adoption as well as others who are considering adoption. We are a beacon to those who were left in foster care or orphanages. I believe that is my purpose.

2021

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***original article from nosuchthingasunplanned.org used for GreatLife with permission of author

The Gift of Adoption